I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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