yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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