I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
