I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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