omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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