dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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