Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
