I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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