i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
