Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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