best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
