are you so shy because you have an std?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize