New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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