I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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