mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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