everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I understand Curling. That high.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
