it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize