jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
