You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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