He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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