I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
