11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize