Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
