She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
