I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
