His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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