how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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