i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
