She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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