Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize