I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
