I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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