i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
