there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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