Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
