I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
