I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
