Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
