I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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