Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's like iHOP with fire
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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