No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
