yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
