Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
