i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
