You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
