So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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