She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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