Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
