Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Success! We fucked roommates!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
