please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
