is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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