It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
