There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
