she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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