dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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