The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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