No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize