two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
