did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
