question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
