Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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