I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
