oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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